My Kevin

SPOILER ALERT/WARNING: You will be disgusted by the lovey-dovies.

Kevin is lying beside me, sound asleep, making adorable noises and giving off enough heat to melt Rupert Murdoch's icy heart. (Zing!)

There may be no "perfect man," but I have found the perfect man for me. He actually loves me, unconditionally, and I guess I never really understood absolute unconditional love or its consequences.

Kevin is, first of all, eternally patient; silently waiting out my sometimes fiery moods, holding my hand through my own self-induced dramatic hell, and willing to wait for all of the things we hope our life will someday be, no matter how far away that seems.

Kevin is always willing to take care of me, when i'm sick, or down, or just need to feel like someone will always be there for me. He also lets me take care of him; he lets me coddle him when he's sick, and stroke his back when he's about to boil over from stress at work.

He is never judgmental. But he's always willing to gently point out when I may have gotten in too deep, or when I may not realize how much a decision (good or bad) may hurt me. He supports me in everything, but expects nothing. He wouldn't care if I never wanted to leave my hourly job at gymboree, or if I ever finished my degree. He would never push me to do anything, but if I wanted to accomplish something, he would move mountains to make sure I could.

Kevin and I got a very early start on unconditional love, something that I think would be ideal, through probably not possible, in all relationships. Ten years of absolute friendship has given us a guide for our own relationship. Friendship is about acceptance, empathy, and respect; and so is Love.

Kevin would buy the parts, build a rocket, and take me to the moon, if I wanted to go. But he would also let me buy the parts, build the rocket, and learn to fly him to the moon if that better fit our plans. Kevin doesn't just want to "provide" for me and my basic needs, keeping me sheltered and fed, he wants to provide me with everything I need emotionally and spiritually, including independence and self expression.

I love him, but he doesn't expect that either. He knows it, but he doesn't expect it. He treats me with such love because HE loves ME. He loves to express his love not to live up to my expectations, but because he knows it holds me together. He is selfless in love, in all respects.

I, in this respect, am deeply flawed: selfish, impatient and a tad controlling. Kevin sees, but doesn't pay any heed to those flaws. He loves me flawed.

All I can do is spend the rest of my life trying to be everything to him that he is to me, show him my gratitude for giving me an understanding of what real love is. Kind, accepting, and Unconditional.

I love him more each day. And that's a lot, cuz I started 11 years ago... and I loved him a WHOLE LOT then.

;-)

A few hours after I wrote this, I woke up to Kevin tucking the comforter in all around me. Either he was trying to keep me on my side of the bed, or, as he said, he was just responding to me shivering slightly beside him. I am so f*cking lucky.

:-)