SPOILER ALERT/WARNING: You will be disgusted by the lovey-dovies.
Kevin is lying beside me, sound asleep, making adorable noises and giving off enough heat to melt Rupert Murdoch's icy heart. (Zing!)
There may be no "perfect man," but I have found the perfect man for me. He actually loves me, unconditionally, and I guess I never really understood absolute unconditional love or its consequences.
Kevin is, first of all, eternally patient; silently waiting out my sometimes fiery moods, holding my hand through my own self-induced dramatic hell, and willing to wait for all of the things we hope our life will someday be, no matter how far away that seems.
Kevin is always willing to take care of me, when i'm sick, or down, or just need to feel like someone will always be there for me. He also lets me take care of him; he lets me coddle him when he's sick, and stroke his back when he's about to boil over from stress at work.
He is never judgmental. But he's always willing to gently point out when I may have gotten in too deep, or when I may not realize how much a decision (good or bad) may hurt me. He supports me in everything, but expects nothing. He wouldn't care if I never wanted to leave my hourly job at gymboree, or if I ever finished my degree. He would never push me to do anything, but if I wanted to accomplish something, he would move mountains to make sure I could.
Kevin and I got a very early start on unconditional love, something that I think would be ideal, through probably not possible, in all relationships. Ten years of absolute friendship has given us a guide for our own relationship. Friendship is about acceptance, empathy, and respect; and so is Love.
Kevin would buy the parts, build a rocket, and take me to the moon, if I wanted to go. But he would also let me buy the parts, build the rocket, and learn to fly him to the moon if that better fit our plans. Kevin doesn't just want to "provide" for me and my basic needs, keeping me sheltered and fed, he wants to provide me with everything I need emotionally and spiritually, including independence and self expression.
I love him, but he doesn't expect that either. He knows it, but he doesn't expect it. He treats me with such love because HE loves ME. He loves to express his love not to live up to my expectations, but because he knows it holds me together. He is selfless in love, in all respects.
I, in this respect, am deeply flawed: selfish, impatient and a tad controlling. Kevin sees, but doesn't pay any heed to those flaws. He loves me flawed.
All I can do is spend the rest of my life trying to be everything to him that he is to me, show him my gratitude for giving me an understanding of what real love is. Kind, accepting, and Unconditional.
I love him more each day. And that's a lot, cuz I started 11 years ago... and I loved him a WHOLE LOT then.
;-)
A few hours after I wrote this, I woke up to Kevin tucking the comforter in all around me. Either he was trying to keep me on my side of the bed, or, as he said, he was just responding to me shivering slightly beside him. I am so f*cking lucky.
:-)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Is He High?
Is Spain in Latin America?
Does John McCain approve salacious campaign adds in his sleep? (You know- Approval in you Sleep Syndrome.) (Otherwise known as ASS.)
So let me get this straight;
John McCain's Platform is:
1. The Strong Fundamentals of our Failing Economy may be at Risk
2. Osama Bin Laden is Hiding Out in a Tent in John McCain's Backyard
3. Barack Obama eats Babies After He Teaches Them About Sex
4. All Women are as Stupid as, and Therefore Similar To, Sarah Palin
5. The President and Vice President Are Above the Law, and Will Not Talk to Investigators, But Will Fire People they Legally Cannot
6. The Republican Ticket is So Superior in the Field of Foreign Relations, That They Have the Ability to Relocate Spain to Latin America, and Russia to Alaska
7. We Can Fix the Environment and Lower Gas Prices by Invoking the Name of John McCain's Favorite Classic Porno, "Drill, Baby, Drill"
8. Thoughtlessly Clinging to Mythical Sentimentalism and Deadly Weapons is Logically Sound
9. The Government Can Keep Kids Abstinent, Fight A Multi-front 100-year War On Terror, and Create Over 100 New Offshore Drilling Rigs, and Destroy the Multi-Trillion Dollar Deficit, all Without Raising Taxes
10. John McCain is in Moderate Health
I guess this just means the Obama campaign can stop fundraising. Apparently the Republicans will lose the election on their own.
Does John McCain approve salacious campaign adds in his sleep? (You know- Approval in you Sleep Syndrome.) (Otherwise known as ASS.)
So let me get this straight;
John McCain's Platform is:
1. The Strong Fundamentals of our Failing Economy may be at Risk
2. Osama Bin Laden is Hiding Out in a Tent in John McCain's Backyard
3. Barack Obama eats Babies After He Teaches Them About Sex
4. All Women are as Stupid as, and Therefore Similar To, Sarah Palin
5. The President and Vice President Are Above the Law, and Will Not Talk to Investigators, But Will Fire People they Legally Cannot
6. The Republican Ticket is So Superior in the Field of Foreign Relations, That They Have the Ability to Relocate Spain to Latin America, and Russia to Alaska
7. We Can Fix the Environment and Lower Gas Prices by Invoking the Name of John McCain's Favorite Classic Porno, "Drill, Baby, Drill"
8. Thoughtlessly Clinging to Mythical Sentimentalism and Deadly Weapons is Logically Sound
9. The Government Can Keep Kids Abstinent, Fight A Multi-front 100-year War On Terror, and Create Over 100 New Offshore Drilling Rigs, and Destroy the Multi-Trillion Dollar Deficit, all Without Raising Taxes
10. John McCain is in Moderate Health
I guess this just means the Obama campaign can stop fundraising. Apparently the Republicans will lose the election on their own.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Paranormal State 9/15/08 "The Fire" and Ethical Obligation
Last night's episode was quite the disappointment.
For those of you who may not know, Paranormal State is a half-hour docu-drama/reality show on A&E that has the potential to be great. It has the potential to bring the actual science (not pseudo-science) of paranormal research within reach of the common American,who may be incredibly skeptical of psychics, seances, and "spirit guides," and even of traditional "scientific" means of exploration including EMF, EVP, and Ion Flux.
While the Penn State research team does not discount any method that may be useful in increasing the world's understanding of what we consider the "paranormal," their most impressive footage involves photos, video, audio, and sensory experiences with paranormal anomalies.
Those who know me know that I am fascinated by the "paranormal." I refer to the term in quotes because I believe the only reason these anomalies are in some way less than normal, is our current lack of scientific understanding. I was very excited when I heard that Ryan Buell and his exceptional team would be allowing the public a glimpse into what they do.
However, my feelings on the show have been mixed, and I've decided that I'm definitely a fan; but on an episode to episode basis.
Last week's episode "The Glove," for example, was exciting not only as riveting entertainment, but also exciting in the fact that the team recorded lots of very visible, at times violent, anomalous activity that seemed quite unexplainable and outside the realm of mere coincidence. If you have not seen the episode, I strongly recommend you do. If we assume (although we never can) that the tormented clients, team, and producers viewed the events of genuine and did nothing to "enhance" their significance, then we should be shocked by the reality of what we see!
Unfortunately, that was not the case in last night's episode, "The Fire." The clients were the children of Ronald and Colleen, victims of a shooting with no leads. The clients reported seeing bright lights at what would have been the time of the murder, auditory experiences, voices begging for vengeance, and even a strange "gift" left for one daughter.
I knew things would not be going in my favor, as a fair-weather fan, as soon as Ryan began to introduce the case. His mission was to use other-worldly experiences to possibly solve a crime that had detectives stymied. A very big step from helping terrified families take control of homes they feel are still occupied by the dead.
I felt a little better when psychic Chip Coffey was called in to consult. I am a big fan of Chip. He is a very intuitive psychic who works not only to help the living, but also the dead. Whether or not I believe in his gift (I do, by the way, to some extent) I do believe that he has philanthropic motives. His no nonsense approach calls out so called psychics who take advantage of the grieving and the unstable.
Unfortunately, despite Chip's presence and dead-on intuition, the show amounted to nothing more than a crime-channel exploration of the use of psychics in investigation. I trust Chip and his intuition has impressed and shocked me for years. I blame producers who clearly wanted to explore the ratings-grabbing possibility of solving a crime but had no way to do so other than to rely on the sensitive.
Such a poor showing doesn't just make for bad tv, for those who hope someone will shed light on unexplained phenomena, but it damages the credibility of the Penn State Research team, and all teams relying on scientific procedure to get a glimpse into these seemingly incredible events.
Despite Chip Coffey's skill as a medium, his readings and intuition seem highly skeptical to the general public, who often regard psychics as harmless wackos, when they are not held to the scientific standard of collaboration.
Perhaps the medium's readings were dead on. Perhaps he was able to absolve Ronald's sons from any knowledge of the murder, at least in his own heart. Chip Coffey's appearance on the show is far from what ruined it for me. If anything, he should be very upset with the producers who made him an easy charlatan in the eyes of the general public.
To the producers of Paranormal State: actual evidence of the unexplained, backed up by several witnesses and media formats is all the entertainment America needs. PRS does not need to jump into paranormal murder mysteries in the show's second season. The show does not need to be clipped together in such a haphazard way to create cliffhangers or add an element of "suprise."
When I saw what was clearly a hand appear while the thermal camera was trained on the wall with possibly no explanation; I was riveted.
Paranormal State, PRS, and Ryan Buell have amazing potential, not only as researchers and entertainers, but as spokespeople for the scientific research of everything deemed "paranormal." I urge you to use this opportunity.
For those of you who may not know, Paranormal State is a half-hour docu-drama/reality show on A&E that has the potential to be great. It has the potential to bring the actual science (not pseudo-science) of paranormal research within reach of the common American,who may be incredibly skeptical of psychics, seances, and "spirit guides," and even of traditional "scientific" means of exploration including EMF, EVP, and Ion Flux.
While the Penn State research team does not discount any method that may be useful in increasing the world's understanding of what we consider the "paranormal," their most impressive footage involves photos, video, audio, and sensory experiences with paranormal anomalies.
Those who know me know that I am fascinated by the "paranormal." I refer to the term in quotes because I believe the only reason these anomalies are in some way less than normal, is our current lack of scientific understanding. I was very excited when I heard that Ryan Buell and his exceptional team would be allowing the public a glimpse into what they do.
However, my feelings on the show have been mixed, and I've decided that I'm definitely a fan; but on an episode to episode basis.
Last week's episode "The Glove," for example, was exciting not only as riveting entertainment, but also exciting in the fact that the team recorded lots of very visible, at times violent, anomalous activity that seemed quite unexplainable and outside the realm of mere coincidence. If you have not seen the episode, I strongly recommend you do. If we assume (although we never can) that the tormented clients, team, and producers viewed the events of genuine and did nothing to "enhance" their significance, then we should be shocked by the reality of what we see!
Unfortunately, that was not the case in last night's episode, "The Fire." The clients were the children of Ronald and Colleen, victims of a shooting with no leads. The clients reported seeing bright lights at what would have been the time of the murder, auditory experiences, voices begging for vengeance, and even a strange "gift" left for one daughter.
I knew things would not be going in my favor, as a fair-weather fan, as soon as Ryan began to introduce the case. His mission was to use other-worldly experiences to possibly solve a crime that had detectives stymied. A very big step from helping terrified families take control of homes they feel are still occupied by the dead.
I felt a little better when psychic Chip Coffey was called in to consult. I am a big fan of Chip. He is a very intuitive psychic who works not only to help the living, but also the dead. Whether or not I believe in his gift (I do, by the way, to some extent) I do believe that he has philanthropic motives. His no nonsense approach calls out so called psychics who take advantage of the grieving and the unstable.
Unfortunately, despite Chip's presence and dead-on intuition, the show amounted to nothing more than a crime-channel exploration of the use of psychics in investigation. I trust Chip and his intuition has impressed and shocked me for years. I blame producers who clearly wanted to explore the ratings-grabbing possibility of solving a crime but had no way to do so other than to rely on the sensitive.
Such a poor showing doesn't just make for bad tv, for those who hope someone will shed light on unexplained phenomena, but it damages the credibility of the Penn State Research team, and all teams relying on scientific procedure to get a glimpse into these seemingly incredible events.
Despite Chip Coffey's skill as a medium, his readings and intuition seem highly skeptical to the general public, who often regard psychics as harmless wackos, when they are not held to the scientific standard of collaboration.
Perhaps the medium's readings were dead on. Perhaps he was able to absolve Ronald's sons from any knowledge of the murder, at least in his own heart. Chip Coffey's appearance on the show is far from what ruined it for me. If anything, he should be very upset with the producers who made him an easy charlatan in the eyes of the general public.
To the producers of Paranormal State: actual evidence of the unexplained, backed up by several witnesses and media formats is all the entertainment America needs. PRS does not need to jump into paranormal murder mysteries in the show's second season. The show does not need to be clipped together in such a haphazard way to create cliffhangers or add an element of "suprise."
When I saw what was clearly a hand appear while the thermal camera was trained on the wall with possibly no explanation; I was riveted.
Paranormal State, PRS, and Ryan Buell have amazing potential, not only as researchers and entertainers, but as spokespeople for the scientific research of everything deemed "paranormal." I urge you to use this opportunity.
John McCain Ahead in Polls of Women Voters
I, too, would like to see a woman in the White House; I think the fact that we haven't yet is quite a national embarrassment.
However, wouldn't it be far more embarrassing to elect an under-qualified, conservative fundamentalist simply because of that desire to break that famous glass ceiling? What does that suggest of American Women?
Our current administration has done its very best to make our citizens appear as a flock of sheep in the eyes of the rest of the world. The McCain/Palin campaign is willing to add "easily distracted by shiny objects" to the American appearance.
John McCain made a name for himself by ignoring party pressure and voting for his own beliefs, speaking out against his wholly partisan colleagues. We all remember when John McCain, in the 2000 primaries, dismissively read a short apology for expressing his belief that the retention of the confederate flag was promoting racism. Despite the "apologetic" expression McCain reads it without animation, as he quickly walks by the camera crew, and then crumples the document and throws it to the ground. (I assume he is hurrying off to vomit over his foray into letting votes come before values.) He later admitted in an interview that political ambition had led to his apparent flip-flop.
Despite some political and personal scandal, John McCain, prior to his 2008 campaign, was known for his "straight-talk" and bipartisanship, if not for his shaky Washington ethics, and sometimes blinding political ambition.
If we study John McCain's pre-2000 record now, and compare it to his last eight years, we realize that he has "sold his soul" for the presidency. Every conservative issue he once opposed in outrage, he now clings to for dear life. Every GOP rival he once denounced as self-serving, he now leans on for support.
What has happened to John McCain? He is confused, listless, and hollow. He repeats the same talking points again and again, and now has stepped back almost completely to let his VP nominee do exactly the same thing. Is it so important to John McCain to make it to the White House that he has become a party-pleasing, smearing, self-deluding, campaigning automaton?
John McCain is (politically) both pale and frail. It is no wonder that he was advised to find a running mate who might "catch the eye" of less informed voters. What he needed was a dynamic, larger-than-life nominee; male or female, someone who would shine in the sun.
American Women, our female candidate, Sarah Palin, is nothing more than a "shiny object." And more a piece of polished glass than a rough diamond.
She has commanded the forefront of the McCain campaign on the promise of reform, yet the only reform in her career she can take credit for is firing a very competent Alaskan trooper.
She lies to her fans that Obama shows one face in Smalltown USA, and another in San Francisco (why is it always San Francisco... oh yes, because of the large gay community) and then repeats over and over the same lies she tried to pass off at the Republican National Convention; Lies that have been discredited daily as just that; not exaggerations, not stretches of the truth, but flat out lies.
Perhaps most importantly, she hides her fundamentalist policies under the guise of "small-town values."
Sarah Palin is shiny to the point of distraction. Which is really campaign gold to John McCain, who seems to do much better in the polls when Americans are busy sorting through stories of "sexually-active-toddlers," "painted-pigs," and "moose-killing, hocky-mom pitbulls," than he does when faced with this election's pertinent issues, like the economy, our occupation of Iraq, failing healthcare and school systems, and defunct foreign relations.
I was told by a classmate in college (jokingly, I hope) that women were "easily distracted by shiny objects." My response was: "That is the most chauvinistic, ridiculous thing I have ever... oh look! A shiny penny!" (I know, my wit is extremely enviable!)
What a step backward it would be for our generation of women, a generation so close to achieving long deserved equality, to let themselves be so manipulated by the McCain/Palin campaign, that they fail to see the rough and jagged rocks that are America's future, lying just beyond that bright, phony "gem."
However, wouldn't it be far more embarrassing to elect an under-qualified, conservative fundamentalist simply because of that desire to break that famous glass ceiling? What does that suggest of American Women?
Our current administration has done its very best to make our citizens appear as a flock of sheep in the eyes of the rest of the world. The McCain/Palin campaign is willing to add "easily distracted by shiny objects" to the American appearance.
John McCain made a name for himself by ignoring party pressure and voting for his own beliefs, speaking out against his wholly partisan colleagues. We all remember when John McCain, in the 2000 primaries, dismissively read a short apology for expressing his belief that the retention of the confederate flag was promoting racism. Despite the "apologetic" expression McCain reads it without animation, as he quickly walks by the camera crew, and then crumples the document and throws it to the ground. (I assume he is hurrying off to vomit over his foray into letting votes come before values.) He later admitted in an interview that political ambition had led to his apparent flip-flop.
Despite some political and personal scandal, John McCain, prior to his 2008 campaign, was known for his "straight-talk" and bipartisanship, if not for his shaky Washington ethics, and sometimes blinding political ambition.
If we study John McCain's pre-2000 record now, and compare it to his last eight years, we realize that he has "sold his soul" for the presidency. Every conservative issue he once opposed in outrage, he now clings to for dear life. Every GOP rival he once denounced as self-serving, he now leans on for support.
What has happened to John McCain? He is confused, listless, and hollow. He repeats the same talking points again and again, and now has stepped back almost completely to let his VP nominee do exactly the same thing. Is it so important to John McCain to make it to the White House that he has become a party-pleasing, smearing, self-deluding, campaigning automaton?
John McCain is (politically) both pale and frail. It is no wonder that he was advised to find a running mate who might "catch the eye" of less informed voters. What he needed was a dynamic, larger-than-life nominee; male or female, someone who would shine in the sun.
American Women, our female candidate, Sarah Palin, is nothing more than a "shiny object." And more a piece of polished glass than a rough diamond.
She has commanded the forefront of the McCain campaign on the promise of reform, yet the only reform in her career she can take credit for is firing a very competent Alaskan trooper.
She lies to her fans that Obama shows one face in Smalltown USA, and another in San Francisco (why is it always San Francisco... oh yes, because of the large gay community) and then repeats over and over the same lies she tried to pass off at the Republican National Convention; Lies that have been discredited daily as just that; not exaggerations, not stretches of the truth, but flat out lies.
Perhaps most importantly, she hides her fundamentalist policies under the guise of "small-town values."
Sarah Palin is shiny to the point of distraction. Which is really campaign gold to John McCain, who seems to do much better in the polls when Americans are busy sorting through stories of "sexually-active-toddlers," "painted-pigs," and "moose-killing, hocky-mom pitbulls," than he does when faced with this election's pertinent issues, like the economy, our occupation of Iraq, failing healthcare and school systems, and defunct foreign relations.
I was told by a classmate in college (jokingly, I hope) that women were "easily distracted by shiny objects." My response was: "That is the most chauvinistic, ridiculous thing I have ever... oh look! A shiny penny!" (I know, my wit is extremely enviable!)
What a step backward it would be for our generation of women, a generation so close to achieving long deserved equality, to let themselves be so manipulated by the McCain/Palin campaign, that they fail to see the rough and jagged rocks that are America's future, lying just beyond that bright, phony "gem."
